2007 Baseball Predictions
I'm not putting a lot of thought into this. I'm providing no explanations for my rankings. Some of these predictions will be based on misguided information (like, the Rockies will be solid thanks to the offensive contributions of Dante Bichette and Andres Galarraga). Without further ado...

AL East
1. New York
2. Boston
3. Toronto
4. Baltimore
5. Tampa Bay

AL Central
1. Detroit
2. Cleveland
3. Minnesota
4. Chicago
5. Kansas City

AL West
1. Anaheim
2. Oakland
3. Texas
4. Seattle

Al Wildcard - Boston

NL East
1. New York
2. Philadelphia
3. Atlanta
4. Philadelphia
5. Montreal

NL Central
1. St. Louis
2. Milwaukee
3. Chicago
4. Houston
5. Cincinnati
6. Pittsburgh

NL West
1. Los Angeles
2. Colorado
3. San Diego
4. Arizona
5. San Francisco

NL Wildcard - Philadelphia

World Series - Detroit over New York

This Week's Dozen Celebrity Truths (That May or May Not Be True)

1. Anna Nicole Smith was born without a human brain.
2. Rex Grossman is a functioning retard.
3. Tawny Kitaen broke her hymen auditioning for the dance scene in the Whitesnake video.
4. The idea for Ludwig van Beethoven's 'Moonlight Sonata' actually came to him after eating an entire can of baked beans. He was also the first person to be called "farty pants" by his buddies.
5. Cecil Fielder was once accused of using performance enhancing drugs. Doctors
would later find out that it was just barbecue spare ribs and Schlitz.
6. Samuel L. Jackson suffer from Voice Immodulation (aka - van Orton's syndrome).
7. 'Stary Wars' character Yoda was actually played by a benign tumor removed from
Rosie O'Donnell's anal crevasse.
8. The mole on Robert De Niro's right cheek was once considered over Ben Affleck to
star in a major motion picture.
9. Paris Hilton was born a freak. She leads people to believe that she has a dog;
when in fact her thumb just looks like one. That's why it appears as though she has a dog on her arm all the time.
10. Jay Leno can only count to sixty-seven.
11. Morgan Freeman narrated every movie made in the 1990's.
12. Colin Powell is not black, he is actually just very tan.

Thanks again for tuning in. See you next week with more Celebrity Truths.

This Week's Dozen Celebrity Truths (That May or May Not Be True)

1. Having being born without one, Tom Brady's chin serves as his anal cavity.
2. John Mellencamp's "his Is Our Country" is actually a cover of a Native American
pride song written shortly after they traded the nation for a jar of magic beans.
3. Rosie O'Donnell is boneless.
4. Proving ever more that her ass is overpowering, Jennifer Lopez's ass power comes
from taking talent away from her lovers. (i.e.-Ben Affleck, P. Diddy, that dancer
guy, etc.)
5. Stevie Wonder is not really blind. He uses that as an excuse to look at nude
women, and to get free meals at Sonic.
6. Marylin Manson had is 7th and 8th ribs removed so he could perform fellatio on
himself.
7. Further proving how crazy she really is, Joumana Kidd (wife of NBA star Jason
Kidd) severed her husband's penis and had it surgically attached to herself.
8. To help prepare for his role as Johnny Cash, Joaquin Pheonix dug up the legend's
corpse and lived with it for 2 months. "Having conversations with his corpse
really helped me prepare for this role. Said Pheonix. "I also kept some of the
bones. But don't tell anyone, okay? Thank you."
9. By simply dating Paris Hilton after impregnating his ex-college girlfriend, Matt
Leinart's unborn child now has 11 forms of STDs.
10. Vinny Testeverde was born with four testicles. And he still sucks at football.
11. Michael Richards is actually a very light-skinned black woman.
12. Dennis Haysbert has starred in every baseball movie ever made, ever.

Thank you for visiting Computers Are The Wave of the Future's Dozen Celebrity Truths. We'll see you next week with twelve more absolutely (possibly) truths (lies).

This Week's Dozen Celebrity Truths (That May or May Not Be True)

1. Since birth, Mr. T has never had a hair cut
2. Angelina Jolie's lips were once the labia of the world's largest beefalo
3. Terrel Owens has officially been disowned by both his parents and blacks
4. Tommy Lee once used his penis as a drumstick in concert
5. John Tesh is the only known human to have once bitch-slapped Jesus Christ
6. Rosie O'Donnell is the biggest bitch in the entire universe (scientific fact)
7. Abe Vagoda is still a virgin
8. Frank (no Sylvester)Stallone was originally cast as Rocky Balboa in Rocky V,
but had to back out due to a scheduling conflict
9. Britney Spears was once considered attractive
10. Tom Cruise has never been able to wear an, "I'm huge in Japan" t-shirt (for both
religious and physical reasons)
11. "Larry King Live" started in 44 B.C.
12. Bryan Adams is currently no longer welcome in either Canada or the United
States. He resides directly on the border between both nations.

Well here it is, my first ever entry in a weblog. This is truly a noteworthy event.

5-9-2006

The Nostradamus of Pop Cult: Adam Rue

Whenever I use the term “pop culture,” I’m referring to the national and international music scenes and the various events, revolutions, jargon and phenomenons that impact them as well as the ripple effects that influence local hipsters’ and scenesters’ fashions and ideals. I think that I speak for everyone reading this when I say, “I don’t care if Britney and K-fed’s next child is a boy or a girl, and I really don’t care who Nick Lachey is dating or how his ex-wife is doing. To pop culture afficionados, TomKat is an unexplainably intriguing phenomenon...it interests me about as much as watching my sister throw cards into a hat. One could say that I’m a selective pop cult enthusiast. Can you say Popozao!?

As with history in general, pop culture has reoccurring fashion trends that manifest themselves in cycles. One obvious fashion trend includes jeans and how high they are worn and how tight they are, see Mariah Carey and Mark Walberg. What might seem like an unimportant fad, the khaki pants, were popularized during the second world war when the standard issue pant for a serviceman was a pair of tan slacks. It came and went a couple of times before becoming a staple in the American’s casual ensemble. In the early nineties, khaki Dickies were donned by some of hip-hops most beloved gangster, pioneers such as Dr. Dre and his band of west-side toadies. They were worn just loose enough to fit a pistol snugly between the abdomen and the waistband or the small of the back and the waistband, however you prefer. Now khaki pants are more prevalent than ever thanks in part to a growing population of Realtors...hold the cargo pockets. I’m done talking about pants for now.

I really could go on for a while about different fashion trends such as the skateboarding fashion subculture that turned mainstream, the Nike revolution, the 90's Doc Martens with wool socks and shorts, Los Angeles and the pink polo, the idea of messy hair and the too cool for school persona. A catalyst for the post high school frat boy movement is the overly priced and formerly hard to come by, Abercrombie and Fitch. A&F’s blatant peddling of sex as fashion and this too cool to care look, is extremely ironic. Abercrombie markets itself as this, but it’s main demographic is dudes who are decked out from head to toe with over $200 in Abercrombie gear and look more like they’re wearing an Abercrombie uniform, complete with the ultra-recognizable scent...as opposed to actually, not caring. Another unrelated, interesting concept is the, “not metosexual, just Asian” styles, characterized by a mix of vintage throwbacks and quasi-class. In general, Asian’s have a tendency to care and the gall to act on it. The difference between Asians and the rest of the illiterate fashion world is that Asians can actually pull it off and generally come off as put together and sophisticated. Overdressing is never a concern for the typical Asian, a trait to be envied.

Music provides us with so many trends that they get lost in the muddle. It’s no secret that the young are ultimately, the trendsetters, but they are also surprisingly out of touch with culture and are oblivious as to why certain trends are cool. Case in point, when I was in sixth grade, I was enamored with flannel. At the time, I didn’t know why, I guess I just thought they were cool. Now, of course, I know why. I could point out other examples, but I think you get the drift.


On to a personally sensitive subject: the types of appropriate attire in different regions of the US, more specifically, my penchant for overdressing in the Northwest. Coeur d’Alene is a really great place to live...if you’re married, or if you’re at least 45. It’s pretty sheltered overall as far as outside exposure is concerned. For example, I am a real estate professional, I deal with hundreds of thousands of dollars on a regular basis. I work in an office setting and have real clients. In Coeur d’Alene it’s actually more appropriate at the office for me to wear cool-ripped jeans (not to be confused with ripped jeans) with a Kurt Cobain style thermal and a t-shirt with sneakers, than it is for me to wear a tie. If I wore a tie, I would definitely hear things about how I thought I was sooo cool or other sarcastic remarks bout how I think I’m somebody I'm not. Not only would I hear about it, but in all honesty, I would admitably be out of place. How would this generation get by without flip-flops? In the summer, my feet see more sun than Yuma, Arizona. How about the girl who wore flip-flops to the White House? This made national news and I bet most Idahoans didn’t understand the fuss. Recently, I attended an old high school friends wedding and I wore nice dress slacks,a tie and a blazer. Pretty normal wedding attire..so I thought. I was definitely overdressed, however, I did look really...really good. It was then that I realized the unwritten dress code in Coeur d’Alene. It’s pretty simple; khaki’s and a polo are always acceptable until you go out, then you change into jean pants or shorts. Another rule of thumb; shorts and jeans are always interchangeable.

As it is inappropriate to wear attire that is, in a sense, too nice, it is also inappropriate to wear attire that is too indie...if I can use that term to describe an individual who appears unkempt. The main industry in Cd’A is tourism, therefore service is a primary occupation for many of the locals. How many times have you been to an upscale restaurant in a big city where the fairly pleasant and competent waiter has visible tattoos, piercings, and/or unnatural hair color? This same person couldn’t find work in Coeur d’Alene. It’s actually funny to see a scenester in Coeur d’Alene, with their extremely tight shirts that bare enough midriff to make Christina Aguilerra blush. Also, I’ve noticed dyed black hair covering one eye is popular now, along with the ubercool Chuck Taylors or checked Vans. I guess this is the 80's getting recycled, a la The Cure, Depeche Mode and the B-52's. If you see this in a big city, sitting in a coffee shop or waiting in line to see a show, you might think to yourself, “this person is cool.” If you see the same person in Cd’A, they’re a FREAK!

How do I get off calling myself the Nostradamus of anything? People between the ages of 16 and 30 pump a huge amount of money into the economy via television, movies, internet, music, and ipod. Therefore these are the people who control what’s cool. These are also the people who care. If you want to find out what the next big thing is, go to a college town, or go to an indie show. You’ll notice that everything that you thought was cool, has changed. What is the band wearing? You might say to yourself, “I don’t care about what anyone is wearing, all I care about is the music.” That’s fine and great, but you can get a better idea of what kind of music is on the horizon by what you see people in a particular scene wearing, such as tighter jeans and cowboy boots, but no cowboy hats please. Right now, there are a number of bands that have more of a country persona than sound, alt-country. Don’t be fooled by their against the grain approach though, they are still the trendy wannabes, they still have the different members that have novelty t-shirts, mohecians, and strategically placed scarves, but they do care about the music and they care about being something different. There are a lot of bands out right now that are teetering on the brink of alt-country and there will be more. Maybe the scene I'm predicting won’t be dubbed as “alt-country,” which is not a term that I coined, but there will be something, there will be cowboy boots, there will be rhinestones, there will be at least one steel guitar featured on one song on each album, there will be Fender Telecasters and lyrics about things other than crying in beer and dying dogs, it will be revered. At this point in time I will call it alt-country, and maybe it never gets a real imaginary genre confining name, but it will happen. 80's retro electronica can only last for so long.

At this point I will avoid broaching the topic of dance rock like Franz Ferdinand and The Killers or fashion rock like The Strokes and the aforementioned bands. I'll also leave it up to the OC and Zach Braff to introduce Death Cab for Cutie and The Shins to SoCal girls.

Major League Baseball 2006: Now With 27% Less Steroids!


I realize it's a little late to be making "pre-season" predictions four days after the season started, but I feel compelled to do so anyway. Without further ado, here is how I see the 2006 season shaking out.

American League
East
1. New York Yankees Yes they're old. Yes, the health of their starting pitchers will be critical to the team's success once again. However, the addition of Johnny Damon makes the starting lineup potentially one of the best in baseball history.
2. Boston Red Sox They'll survive the loss of Damon, as Coco Crisp is younger and, overall, a better long-term investment. The question mark is the infield, which has been completely turned over since last season.
3. Toronto Blue Jays They spent a lot of money, particularly on starting pitcher AJ Burnett, in hopes of mounting the first serious challenge on the Yankees and Red Sox in about eight years. I don't think they're there yet.
4. Baltimore Orioles If Tejada produces, this lineup can score a lot of runs. Pitching is another story.
5. Tampa Bay Devil Rays Could escape the cellar if the young guys (Crawford, Baldelli, Gathright, Young, Gomes, Upton) take the next step.

Central
1. Chicago White Sox Hard to bet against a defending champion that actually got better during the offseason. May still need to catch the kind of breaks they got last year to repeat in a tough division.
2. Cleveland Indians Have one of the best young lineups in the game. Sizemore, Peralta, Martinez, and Hafner are the new version of Belle, Baerga, Lofton, and Ramirez.
3. Minnesota Twins Johan Santana may be the best pitcher in the game, but unless Mauer and Morneau have big seasons it's hard to see the Twins scoring enough runs to contend.
4. Detroit Tigers New manager Jim Leyland used to manage the Pittsburgh Pirates, who had a sleek young outfielder with 30/30 talent on offense and a gold glove on defense. Whatever happened to that guy?
5. Kansas City Royals It would be an accomplishment if these guys don't have the worst record in baseball.

West
1. Anaheim Angels Great pitching staff led by Cy Young winner Bartolo Colon. Will they score enough runs? Someone, like Casey Kotchman, will have to step up to support Vladimir Guerrero.
2. Oakland Athletics They're a popular pick to win the American League, but I don't think I see it. Adding Frank Thomas and Milton Bradley doesn't seem to be a recipe for success.
3. Texas Rangers They finally addressed their pitching issues, but all of a sudden the lineup looks suspect. Teixeira and Young are stars, and Blalock should be, but Phil Nevin at DH?
4. Seattle Mariners It's hard to figure out what they're doing. When Jamie Moyer is your best starting pitcher, you're probably in trouble. They need Beltre to play like he is in a contract year.

National League
East
1. Atlanta Braves At this point, it's best to just put the Braves at the top of this list whether they appear to have the best team or not. They lost Rafael Furcal, but their biggest loss may be pitching coach Leo Mazzone.
2. New York Mets On paper, they should be considered the favorites in the division. But baseball games aren't played on paper. They're played in television sets. David Wright is a stud.
3. Philadelphia Phillies Pat Gillikk is on board as General Manager, which means the Phillies can look forward to three-to-five years of being almost good. Kind of like the last three-to-five years.
4. Washington Nationals Hard to believe MLB still hasn't found an owner for this team. The uncertainty has definitely hurt, and eventually will hurt their momentum as they move into a new stadium in a couple years. At least they're not the…
5. Florida Marlins With a payroll of $15 million, the Marlins should be terrible, although they do have a couple stars in Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera. But the starting second baseman is Dan Uggla.

Central
1. St. Louis Cardinals Probably the favorite in a weak National League. Pujols is the game's best offensive player, and Chris Carpenter is one of the game's best pitchers.
2. Houston Astros Hard to see them getting back to the World Series, although it's definitely a possibility if Clemens comes back. Will need another big year from Morgan Ensberg.
3. Milwaukee Brewers Took a big step up last year in finishing .500. JJ Hardy, Rickie Weeks, and Prince Fielder should be able to lead them back to at least that level again.
4. Chicago Cubs It would be nice to be able to pick them to win the World Series, but any team banking on the health of Mark Prior and Kerry Wood seems likely to struggle.
5. Pittsburgh Pirates There is some good young talent, with Jason Bay becoming one of the best hitters in the NL, but they seem destined for at least one more year of mediocrity.
6. Cincinnati Reds The only way they will escape the cellar is if Griffey has a big year, which seems possible. Otherwise, they are the NL version of the Royals.

West
1. San Diego Padres Almost a default pick in a weak division. They did win it last year, however, and got better in the offseason with the addition of Mike Cameron.
2. San Francisco Giants They are incredibly old, and Bonds will be lucky to survive this season intact, but they did upgrade the pitching staff with Matt Morris.
3. Los Angeles Dodgers Made a lot of changes in the front office and on the field, but it's hard to see a team with this much turnover winning a division immediately.
4. Arizona Diamondbacks Probably at least a year away, but once Conor Jackson, Carlos Quentin, Stephen Drew, and Justin Upton establish themselves as the heart of the order, they'll be championship contenders.
5. Colorado Rockies There's some good young talent there, even on the pitching staff, but it's hard to see them being competitive this year.

Playoffs
Division Series: Yankees over Angels, White Sox over Red Sox, Cardinals over Mets, Braves over Padres
LCS: White Sox over Yankees, Cardinals over Braves
World Series: White Sox over Cardinals

BStein

The Road to The Great Opportunity for a Championship

What the flip just happened?

Raise your hand if you had George Mason in the Final Four. Other than the Patriots' improbable run through the Washington bracket, the other three finalists, taken individually, aren't complete surprises. UCLA was a two seed in a wide-open bracket. LSU, despite being a four seed, has perhaps the top one-two frontcourt punch in the nation in Tyrus Thomas and Big Baby. Florida's frontcourt, consisting of Joakim Noah and Al Horford, may be a close second.

But for all four of these teams to be in the Final Four (or, as Dick Enberg calls it, The Great Opportunity for a Championship)? Inconceivable. After the tourney's first weekend, it was looking like this year's Final Four may actually be the first ever to feature all four one seeds. UConn, Duke, Memphis, and Villanova had established themselves quite clearly as the number ones, and all were still alive. First- and Second Round upsets created winnable brackets for all of them. Mid-majors like Bradley, Wichita St., Gonzaga, and George Mason were thrown into the mix to make things interesting, but not given much chance to actually win their regions (except Gonzaga, although those who followed the Zags all year probably placed their odds lower than casual fans).

Truthfully, George Mason, the biggest surprise of this year's finalists, also appears to be the most deserving of being there. The Patriots knocked off Michigan St., a preseason Final Four favorite. They defeated North Carolina, the defending champs. They beat very good Wichita St. team. Then they capped it off with a win over the clear-cut championship favorite UConn Huskies, and they did it convincingly. Their victory was not a fluke; they flat-out outplayed the Huskies. As crazy as it seems, GMU very well could win the whole thing. Why not? Florida is playing very well and has great chemistry, but from top to bottom, Florida is no better talent-wise than three teams George Mason has already beaten.

The other semifinal game has a chance to be very ugly. I'm talking Lorenzo Mata ugly (see above). The UCLA-Memphis regional final was one of the worst displays of basketball I've seen in recent memory. Memphis, a team that usually scores in the 80s, struggled to reach 40. UCLA seemed to have forgotten how to shoot free throws. Gonzaga sat at home and wondered what might have been. Meanwhile, LSU rode their big guys past Texas in another defensive struggle. It's games like these that make me thankful for the shot clock. Otherwise, the UCLA-LSU game might end up something like 38-32.

I realize that trying to predict what will happen in next week's games is a foolish endevour. That said, I would like to see a UCLA-George Mason championship game, with UCLA cutting down the nets. As much as I love the little guys in college basketball, I just don't know if I'm ready for a George Mason national championship. Of course, it's probably going to be an LSU-Florida championship game, which is great if we're talking SEC football. But NCAA basketball?

BStein